We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming...

For something that isn't RFTA related. It's still something I wrote but it was a demon I needed to exorcise.

So, this is "Sidewinder":

You hurt me, but I can't get too mad

You're the most precious thing I've ever had.

You showed me all the things I didn't see.

Instead what I was not, what I couldn't be

You did so much for me in just a few months

More than fifteen years of prescription drugs.

My life opened up when you took my hand,

But you took it away for reasons I can't understand

You knew me so much better than I ever could,

I'd have said you'd never do this but apparently you would.

I'm grateful for all you've done to help me along,

I'm just sick of wondering what went wrong.

There's no way you could tell yourself I'd take it well,

You had to know that losing you would put me through hell.

I needed you and thats why I called and wrote.

For nearly a year I waited and I hoped.

You cut me off when you had become air I breathe,

I'm still not over you and everything you've done for me.

Was temptation too much or was it something else?

Was it an emergency decision to protect yourself?

So I was left with denial for almost a year,

My friends telling me things I refused to hear

You were so much, the kindest soul I have ever met.

You call yourself a hedonist, do you have room for regret?

So I'm still stuck, telling the same sob story to every new friend

About how much you helped me and how painfully you made it end.

You knew I would not weather it well, that I would fall right to the concrete

Knowing I'd go down face first and have my heart smeared on the street.

That I'd be in a downward spiral I could not escape,

That I'd hit rock bottom and that I would break.

I write this shit in circles, I know I've written this all before.

About how much I miss you and the internal war

It's been too long and I still see you in everything,

From drinks to cigarettes and words that are said to me.

I still remember the conversations we had every day

I just never realized how it would be when they were taken away.

I'm only able to be angry you did this to me, put me through hell

Because you were there to show me how to respect myself.

You meant more to me than anyone else, I just want you back,

I can't figure out how to hate you when I love you like that.

It still hurts and I don't think I'll ever really get over what we had,

When I fucking love you this much how the hell can I stay mad?

What does it say when I can't escape being reminded of you?

My only comfort is knowing that where-ever you are, this is the truth:

You have these pains and you're unable to stop seeing me in everything, too.

That concludes "Sidewinder" and we now return you to waiting for me to actually work on more RFTA.

The Prelude to The Gutter

Ash pondered his fate in The Gutter. Would it be one man or would they run in a group? He wondered if shock would set in, if he would go numb before they started to cut into his chest, flaying his torso. He was morbidly curious just what that would be like, watching as some street surgeon methodically cut him open. If he couldn't feel the pain, would he really care? The image of the dull knife forcing itself through his skin was all too vibrant. Would he last long enough to watch them harvest any of his organs or would their search for cybernetic implants kill him first? Try as they might, they would find nothing aside from his law enforcement and birth tags.

That morbid curiosity turned to sudden rage as images of Marie flooded his mind. He had spent those last weeks drinking himself half to death and then waking up the next day to do it all again. Sitting in that corner, shelling out money to kill himself shot by shot. He had lost faith in everything he had believed in when he took his job. He wanted to help keep people safe, he wanted to stop the innocent people from getting caught up in firefights in the low tiers, to stop black market trades, the very harvesting he had just been imagining. He wanted to be respected and lauded for his work, was that selfish?

He served happily, he felt satisfaction as he brought closure to every case, caught every thief or murderer, brought a missing child back to their parents, chased down a fleeing criminal, brought in rapists, gave testimony to ensure that those who had done wrong were punished as severely as the law dictated... and it had all just become a joke in Zero-Five. All the respect and dignity that kept him standing upright with pride was dashed upon the orders he was given. If he had shot that child he would be without all this bullshit pushing down on him? The image and act of killing the child would follow him to his dying day, and that was much worse in some respects. At least he got to fight for his life, right?

"Damnit!" Ash screamed, grabbing the bottle by the neck and hurling it across the kitchen where it busted upon the wall and fell to the floor in a puddle of alcohol and broken glass, streaks of the alcohol running down the wall. He had to force himself not to grab more items to begin wrecking his home with. He could, honestly, knock the walls down with his bare fists if they wouldn't crumble into bloody ruin along the way. He felt he suddenly had an idea of what it was like to live with terminal illness or to be living on borrowed time as some gang kingpin gave you so many days to pay back the money you borrowed before he broke your kneecaps and then let you die on your own in a fucking waste drain.

It was unfair, that was a major factor but the largest part of it all was her. Marie had taken him from the bottom of his depression in one evening and thrown him into orbit. Looking into her eyes, there was nothing that could get him down, the smell of her banished bad memories, her words drowned out all negativity and it was all true. She had just been the right woman in the right place to save him and the fact that he would not likely survive the night made it all the more bitter. He wanted to throw a tantrum like a child and scream about how unfair it was but... he'd just be wallowing alone on his kitchen floor. He didn't have a parent to sway into doing what he wanted, here.

Ash exhaled raggedly and braced himself with his hands on the edge of the counter, hanging his head down between his arms. He could smell the alcohol on himself, now, and sighed. He was sure that was a thing that dickhead Vanderbilt had mentioned. Somewhere in hell there was a spot reserved for him and Ash would find a way from his own spot in hell to kick the living shit out of that asshole. Hell was an outdated concept, honestly, but it remained in the human lexicon for figurative purposes. It had left with the Christians when they had made their march for war. Ash had always known that Juno hid things from the public, every government does because, on the whole, people were panicky animals and the smallest hint of bad news could cause some ridiculous riot. From that riot would come claims of police brutality and from that would come very clear messages from Juno that the citizens chose to be there-- they were welcome to leave if they had issues with it.

Ash couldn't count how many things that had been swept under the rug but he acknowledged some of them were for the good of the city, items not quite worth mention because they would be more trouble than they were worth. For a long time he had only heard of Gutter duty as an outdated thing, some ancient practice too barbaric for the civilized, modern people of today. The fact was, though, troublemakers ended up disappearing and he had not gone on without noticing the mysterious absence of certain people over the course of a night. Some were murders that Juno fast-tracked and declared were simply unsolvable and every bit of evidence collected was suddenly gone. Espher was certainly a damn sight better than living in the outlying settlements but there was no question that when the citizens had voted to bring the Obelisk to a government level they did so without knowing what exactly it could do.

It was funny, really. The city-- at the time it was a large city slowly growing outward to begin consuming surrounding cities-- had lost all faith in human decency (in politicians, at least) and Juno had so reluctantly pushed their candidate to the fore. It was programmed to be perfectly logical, incapable of being bribed, unable to be intimidated, never to be found in a sex scandal, always weighing the city and its population and doing this or that. Everything from public transport schedules to allocating police forces as needed per sector, all the way down to what was or was not available  to experience in the form of art. Countless albums, paintings, sculptures, books, pictures, and other forms of art had been confiscated, put into the vault of Lucretia (or the Library of Lucretia, alternatively) deep in the core of the Lucretia sector, near the Obelisk and heavy guard. People realized, then, they had only traded one devil for another.

Ash sighed as he pulled his shirt off over his head, not wanting to both with the buttons, and entered the bathroom. He looked at the mirror set flush with the wall and appraised himself. He needed to shave, he needed more sleep, he needed to brush his hair, he needed to figure out just what Marie saw in him when it came to looks. He was certainly not ugly but he was certain there were much more handsome men she met on a daily basis, that hit on her or offered her ridiculous endorsements and sponsorships for a date. At least that was how he saw it. Maybe it was different, he could see men being far too scared to approach her. With a heaved sigh, Ash stepped out of his pants and boots until he was naked and stepped into the shower. The pane on the wall immediately lit up and he selected one of his custom entries that set the water temperature and pressure just how he liked it. Then the display shrunk down to the bottom left corner and the pane displayed telepane channels. He wasn't terribly interested so he changed the channel and subchannel to one of a few hundred music stations before he turned and embraced the warm embrace of the water.

Hanging his head beneath the showerhead, holding himself up with his palms against the wall, Ash breathed slow and stead, wanting to wash the situation away like the water running down the drain, to see it all just go away... but things were never that easy. He had just finished lathering his hair up to place it under the showerhead when the pane chimed. His head went under the wash and he blindly tapped the pane. "Yea?" he called out, working his hands through his hair. The voice from the pane excited him and he was instantly free of worry. "Guess who." Marie said, winking at the camera. Ash slung his head out of the wash and looked at her, his face creasing into a smile despite his poor spirits. "The stripper I ordered?" he teased, looking at her, she could see a small vision of him adjacent to the camera and she shook her head. "I put her out of a job. Now are you going to let me in or do I need to break your door down?" she inquired, tilting her head. "Yea, let me key it." Ash spoke, typing in a sequence of numbers on a pad to the left of the pane and unlocked the door. "Thank you, now you better take care of that." she said before moving in.

Ash began to ask her what she meant but the sudden sting in his eyes answered him and he quickly shoved his head back under the flow of water, rinsing his eyes thoroughly and washing his hair thoroughly. The rest of his shower was hasty and bare-bones, wanting to be next to her as soon as possible. He heard her heeled boots clacking against the floor  toward the bathroom. He swept the shower curtain open and stared right into her eyes-- well, he had to look down quite a bit but he made eye-contact. She was wearing a smart black blouse and coat... with denim jeans that looked as if they were molded just for her. "I missed you." Ash said, water running down his form and thumping quietly against the bathtub. She placed a hand on his chest and smiled, running her fingers down, letting her nails scrape his skin. Ash was about to stop her from moving below his hips but she stopped on her own, fingers tracing left and right. "Looks like you need a shave." she spoke, smirking.
"Yeah? Where?" He inquired, grinning.
Marie laughed and shook her head "Honestly? Both."
"Oh yeah? Well I was going to grow it out down here and shave your name into it. Thought you'd be flattered."
"You know, I have to say that is something I've never had a man do for me."
"Yea, it's gonna stay that way." Ash teased and she grinned up at him.

As Ash leaned down toward her she sighed  and placed her hands on the sides of his neck and they kissed for several moments before it broke away and he looked at her with a completely different look on his face. He was happier, brighter, more responsive. She was about to speak but Ash flicked his fingers at her space and sprinkled it with water. Her face scrunched up and she laughed before her hand shot for the pane and she tapped her finger against the pane, rapidly lowering the temperature before slapping the on button and giving him a soft shove to make sure the spray of cold water caught him fully. He cursed and sputtered, shutting the water off with a touch of his hand. "You need a warning label." Ash said, shaking his head so that his hair whipped water in her direction. "You ass!" she shouted, laughing with him as he stepped out of the shower.

"So... you said you needed to see me, your tone was pretty... grave. I was worried if something happened at work." Marie spoke, watching Ash towel off.
Wiping his face with the towel, Ash nodded "Yea, something all right."
"Don't leave me in suspense, Ash. What is it? I'm guessing its the reason there's a busted bottle in the kitchen floor?"
"Yea, I... just kind of threw a fit. Look, I don't know exactly what we have, you know, us... but I had to see you before I went into work."
Marie seemed to weigh his words, not quite sure what they were, herself. "And I'm here, Cherub. Tell me what happened."
"You ever go to The Gutter?"
"I've... been a few times, yes. It was all for charity donations and benefits."
"No, the -real- gutter, the bottom rung."
"I... No, I never have."
"Well, I'm being posted there tonight and for seven days after. I won't be coming home, they've got bunks down there."
"Isn't that place pretty awful?"
"Yea, yea it is. It's been about six years since anyone posted there came back and when they showed up they weren't all there. Literally, like missing limbs and bodyparts."
"Who is going with you?"
"No one. It's just going to be me. I can sleep during the day when patrol runs through regularly but at night I'm going to be the only cop in the sector working in The Gutter."
"This is why..."
"Yea, I … like I said, I don't know what this is but I want more of it, I want to follow it all the way to wherever you and I end up."
"It's only been a day, Cherub but... I know what you mean. We fit very well with one another."

It was true, Marie felt like she fit perfectly into every recess and hole in Ash's life as if she had been made just for that. It was a wonderful feeling, to know someone so well in so short a time. She knew what he was thinking every time he opened his mouth. In all his awkward stories and tangents and difficulty to convey details on certain things correctly, she knew what he meant and it wasn't without it's strange nature, it was very weird but it worked. Ash finished toweling off and dropped the towel in a hamper while Marie forged the path ahead into the bedroom. Ash got his underwear on and sat down with her on the bed, his hand grabbing her own and lacing his fingers with her's. She turned and smiled at him, moving to kiss him for a moment before shoving him onto his back and climbing on top of him. She nestled in against the crook of his neck and he hooked his arm around her slight frame, his free hand holding one of her own. If only he could freeze this moment, to exist here forever...  but the fact was that this might be the last time he ever got to feel her nestled against him, smell the scent of her skin or shampoo, to hear her voice, her laugh-- that laugh that was infectious and almost always present, as if she were in the best mood all the time.

"I just... if there is something I want to do before I'm basically put to death I want to spend time with you. The Gutter is where they put you when they want you to die. I guess the reward of surviving it is keeping your job."
"I'm not going to worry about you." Marie whispered in his ear.
"What does that mean?"
"I'm not afraid you'll die. You'll survive it, Ashley."
Ash was surprised that he didn't flinch reflexively at being called by his full name but she said it with a clear, caring tone. "I'm glad someone believes I will." he muttered somewhat darkly.
"If you just sit there and thing about how awful it's going to be it's just going to be awful. Keep your head up-- well, I guess down is wiser here but just think about everything we'll do when you get back."
"That's a way to look at it."
"That's how -you- should look at it. Listen to me, Ashley, I'm not sure what we have here, either, but I want it just as much as you. I have so many things to show you and things I want to do with you—"
"You're not talking about the same things that your words are putting in my head."
Marie grinned "Bear with me, Cherub. There is a lot to do and I'm certain you'll make it out and come back to me."

Hours passed between the two in conversation and for those hours Ash had completely forgotten the fear he had facing down his own execution. He had curled up with her, embraced her, kissed on her flesh for what seemed like an age. Marie had been growing more bold by the minute and there was a fire in her he hadn't seen before. Looking into her eyes she was hungry, she was ferocious, there was such determination. She had a hidden animal in her somewhere, he could remember seeing it that night they met, not realizing quite what it was until now. There was something coiled in her, ready to strike and it was vicious. Of course, this wasn't something she aimed at him, but he supposed in growing up she had learned a lot about how far people will go to screw you over, how petty and violent they were. He couldn't say that it was something that calmed him but it had been dominating the way toward sex, pawing at his chest, shedding her coat. Much to her surprise, as she went to take the waist of his boxershorts in her hands he stopped her. The look in her eyes could've broken his heart. She was confused, almost hurt.

Ash immediately took hold of her head and pulled her into a kiss. "Not like this I..." Ash sighed, pressing his forehead to her own and closing his eyes. "Not this way, not when I'm facing this. I know it's not some kind of pityfuck or last act of kindness, I know that, Marie. I just... I want to be there to enjoy it, all of me to be there, not to have half my head worried about the next week. I just want to be able to be there completely."
Marie's expression softened and she nodded with understanding, contenting herself to trail her fingernails along his abdomen. Honestly he wasn't sure what her fascination was, he hadn't had an etched abdomen in several years, it'd gone a bit soft. "How much longer?"
Ash craned his head to look at a clock mounted on the wall and sighed. "Five minutes, pretty much."
She nodded and slowly uncoiled herself from him, sitting next to him on the bed. "I mean it, Ashley, you're going to get through it fine."
Ash nodded "I know, I believe you. I need to get to Sector HQ and check in with the Sector Chief. He said something about giving me suitable firepower to hold my own if a group of psychos start shrieking and charging at me."
"Ooh, big guns. Sounds interesting."
"I kinda feel like shit for wanting to have an opportunity to use whatever I get."
"Oh, I totally get that. You're fine."

Ash spent the next few minutes pulling himself away from Marie and getting dressed, she had insisted on buttoning up his uniform so he let her have at it as he began to put on his gear, complete with his hat and recovered badge. He stood and looked at her, looked her over, absorbed every detail he could hold about her in silence. She seemed to understand what he was doing, she was smiling and looking into his eyes with her own. Perhaps she was doing the exact same thing he was? The communication hub chimed in a slot on his belt and he pulled it out, opening it. "That's all the time I have." he said, looking toward the door and then back at her. She nodded and walked with him to the door. "Listen, you can stay as long as you want. I don't care. There's probably food that will be going to waste anyway. "
"I have a lot of things I need to do now that I have the time for them but I'll gather my things and leave a note for you to come home to in seven days, hm?" Marie offered.
"Sounds good. I need to go but I'm going to miss you, Marie. A lot."
"Me too, Cherub. Me too."

Ash kissed her hungrily and embraced her with strength that threatened to practically snap her into pieces but she enjoyed every second. He had said his goodbyes to her as he ascended to the parking structure and fired up his patrol car. The ride to Sector HQ was quiet, he was trying to remember something his dad had said once when he was a child. About how death smiles at everyone and you just had to do the same. It was as relevant as he figured it would ever be. He had to get all senses of compassion of his head for this one. He had to kill all of his kindness, he had to be cold, cruel, brutal. This was a gauntlet to getting back to living and the life waiting for him was worth carving a path through the people of The Gutter should he be in doubt of their intentions. He had to be a monster to stand in a place of monsters, he felt.

Checking in, Ash had eyes on him and re-emergent whispers circulating around. He was without room to care for it now, though. He had met the Sector Chief in the armory and, true to his word, The Chief had a table spread with assault weapons. Rifles, shotguns, grenade rifles, rotary cannons, and dozens more. Frankly, explosives were too likely to harm innocent bystanders so they were right out. Rotary cannons were just too bulky to use in close quarters-- at least for him. He knew there were plenty of muscular and massive officers who could wield them effectively but Ash wasn't able to do that. Ultimately Ash had come down to a ScumThumper, it was a shotgun with a rotating series of four barrels and a large drum magazine. In riots it was idea when packed with non-lethal ammunition, you could spray down an entire crowd with one magazine and have them disperse. He wasn't sure what happened when using lethal ammunition but he expected it to be ugly and messy.

Ash had spoken with The Chief for a half hour before he was ten minutes from his post. With the ScumThumper slung over his shoulder he stood in the core elevator, riding it down until it reached the bottom level (as far as the Obelisk was concerned). As one rode down the tiers of Espher, the differences in the tiers was extremely apparent. Clean and bright slowly gave way to dirt, grime, and unpleasant smells.  He was at least ten tiers from The Gutter now and had to navigate his way to a special freight elevator to resume his descent. In this elevator he could not see outside, he just waited, watching the tier indicators flash by. As the elevator slowed to a halt, Ash took hold of the weapon and disengaged the safety switch, his thumb flicked a switch that caused a quiet whine to spin up as the barrels on the weapon rotated. Bracing himself for some manner of ambush, he held the weapon at his hip and kept his finger flat along the weapon, just above the trigger. The doors groaned and opened suddenly, leaving The Gutter open to see.

Ash Meets Marie, pt. 2

Just hammered this out waiting for the doctor to answer his phone, just some more personal exchange, nothing too fancy.

--

Ash did Marie the favor of not vomiting in her immaculate car and she did him the favor of driving him home instead of shoving him out of the car in mid-air for ruining the interior. Ash's home was humble and by no means opulent but it was definitely better than most of the residential sectors on this tier of Espher. Ash's salary covered everything well and gave him enough money to spend most nights getting shit-faced. As the Nexus W-X came to a quiet, delicate rest on its landing struts, Ash turned to look at Marie while using pure will to force down the nausea. “I... this was a hell of a night. Thanks... I needed--” Ash began but his lips were assaulted by her own for a brief, blissful moment. He presumed she was rolling the dice on his nausea, getting a kiss in before anything came out. He was struck by it, however, and lost his train of thought. “You...”

“Kissed you...” She replied, mimicking his tone perfectly.

“Hell of a night. I.. wish I weren't drunk so I could be a bit more... coherent. Yea, that's the word.”

“You're fine. If nothing else, being in this state shows who you are at heart. You really broke free tonight, it was wonderful.”

Ash tilted his head “I what?”

“Broke free. You had fun, you stopped moping, you lived in the moment and being able to help you achieve that is great.” She replied, turning in her seat, slightly.

“You saw all that -and- drove through all that crazy shit?”

“I have my skills, cherub.”

“I'm wondering how much of an understatement that is.”

“Don't be like that. I just happened to have a sequence of events to showcase my abilities, tonight.”

Ash sighed and shrugged “I don't question good fortune. I was just surprised.”

“Can you make the walk?”

“Yea, no problem.” Ash said, looking outside the car for the first time. Inside, it was so easy to forget everything that was not a part of her.

“Can I at least make sure you don't fall and hurt yourself, Ash?” Marie asked, keying a console which brought the engine to a slow stop and the struts creaked just a bit as the repulsordirve shut off.

“My place is kind of a wreck.” Ash warned, looking at her uncertainly.

“You should see -mine-.”

“I'm not going to pass up a chance to bring a celebrity into my home. Maybe they'll make some kind of tour where they make a big deal about how you helped some drunken idiot home out of the kindness of your heart. Big to-do and everything, selling some cheap alcohol as a souvenir and explai--”

“Ash. Hush. Let's get you inside instead of waking all of your neighbors, all right?”

“Fair point.” Ash muttered, turning as the door began to move and stepping out of the car with only one small stagger.

The doors on the car sealed and there was a faint beep to indicate the security system on the car had been enabled. Marie helped Ash to his home twice, the first had been just a door too far. After returning to his actual home she guided him in to sit on a worn-out couch. She shut, and locked, the door behind her and turned around, smiling. Ash was sprawled out on the couch, looking at her with no attempt to disguise it. She was the kind of beautiful you got angry over, so much frustration building in knowing that someone so beautiful would never be a part of your life and that is where his thoughts lingered. Surely she was stringing him along, there had to be some reason. She walked casually across the room and took a gentle seat next to him, turning to look him over. She smiled that warm, disarming smile and if it were possible, Ash would've melted in the heat.

“Are you feeling okay?” She asked, placing her hand on his.

“Yea, better, just... trying to settle down.” Ash replied, turning to look at her more directly.

“Good. I don't want to watch you ruin your carpet.... any further.” She said, smirking as he was sprawled there and pretty much defenseless. “Do you have anything to drink?”

Ash nearly heaved, alcohol wasn't what he wanted to think about right now. “Kitchen, kitchen. Third cabinet from the left.”

There was a pause and a whistle “Wow, you sure do bring a lot of your hobby home with you.” she called out from the other room.

Ash smiled, furrowing his brows “Yea, been... kinda rough lately. Some really frustrating things.”

“Oooh? Are we reaching 'classified' levels of detail, here?” She called out, glass tinkling lightly amid her words.

“No, not really... It's not really so classified as it is... just... gone.” he said, closing his eyes and reliving the moments all over again. CO Green shouting in his ear, the weight of the rifle in his hands, how completely out of place he felt.

“Not surprising, honestly.” Marie said, stepping into the living room once more and gently slipping around his legs with a subtle grace.

“There's a lot of things they don't show. Bad for the morale of the people of Espher.”

“I've seen it happen. Friends I had that just... disappeared and never existed so far as any record is concerned.”

“That's why I stay out of politics, I don't want to be a part of that kind of thing. It's childish as hell and I can't stand that.”

Marie poured a bit of some amber colored liquor into a small glass and brought it up to her lips “Tell me about it, if you want to get it off your chest.”

“It's just... Things are obviously changing. We were taken off reserve and sent to O-S-Zero-Five to find and confiscate and and all firearms or similar weapons. Half-way there it suddenly changed into 'Kill them all, don't ask why'.”

Marie's eyebrows raised as she took a small drink. “That's... a big change of plans.”

“And we were stuck with it. I... I'm not even 'off duty' right now, I'm on forced leave. There were orders I refused to follow and they slammed me the moment I got back.”

“When was this?”

“About three days ago.”

“If I may ask, Ash, what orders were you refusing?” Marie inquired, tilting her head.

“I was being ordered to shoot a kid. Probably twelve or something, grew up out in the settlements, never knew a life without guns on hand for defense. We come in firing rockets and air-strafing his home, who the fuck isn't going to grab their gun and fight?”

“So they wanted you to kill him for defending himself?”

“No... he killed at least one of our eight-man squad. That was why they wanted him dead but... it was our fault. No one -ever- gave us a reason why the mission changed.”

“So you just didn't feel he did anything wrong?”

“I... no, I knew those guys, all the ones we lost, but we didn't even say anything, we just came in and started blasting the place all to hell.”

“Sounds awful...”

“I'll spare you the details and just say that Espher never gives the whole story, just enough to justify their actions or remove doubt. There's thousands of things I've noticed over the years that escape mention and there's no explanation other than someone actively filtering what is made public... but I think all governments do that.”

“You're right. They all do. I don't think there has ever been a government that gave the people the whole story.”

“I'm just sick of pretending not to notice it. Some people can look it over, some people just don't ask questions and they can just be fine with that-- I can't. It aggravates me to the damned bone.”

“Calm down, Cherub, just try and relax.” she cooed softly in his ear.

Ash had somehow managed to miss the way she shifted her slight form against him and leaned over to partially lay along his side as he slouched slightly. There were all sorts of things buzzing in his head right now and the feel of her against him was not the least of them. Slowly his arm curled around her shoulders and she exhaled against his neck, laying her head there and reaching across to set her drink upon the table. If he could open his eyes he would be seeing what he would presume to be a dream but it was actually happening. What was so appealing about him? Did she just go for the kind of person who feels broken and use their misery as a sort of muse? Did she genuinely care this much about someone she met less then twelve hours ago? He had so many questions and so little nerve to ask them. Slowly he let his eyes open and behold her. Her hair was a wash of deep red spread across their bodies, her arms running from her tee-shirt up and around his neck where he could feel her nails gently bite at his flesh. She had ditched her boots somewhere and had her lower half tucked neatly against her in her slim denim jeans and thin black socks. He pondered what the material was, it looked like silk from his view, and was then struck wondering why he was thinking about that at all.

“Ash...” Marie began, turning her head upward to whisper on his jaw.

“Yeah?” he responded, half-groggy but fully focused on her.

“Do you mind if I--”

“Not at all.”

Marie smiled a bit “You didn't know what I was going to ask.”

“I think I had a good idea.”

“Maybe.”

“Just be quiet and come here.” Ash said, turning slightly to pull her body onto his own as he slipped down to lay on his back.

Marie's slight build was even more apparent in this way, her arms around his neck and her head tucked into the nape of his neck. Her legs had tangled into his own, Ash sighed with plain, simple content. His hands moved down her back slowly, fingers tracing along her spine before resting on her lower-back. One arm curled around her possessively and kept her held snug and he turned his head to press his lips to her hairline, closing his eyes. It was quiet, it was never this quiet when he was home. The was no racket from the television pane, no food cooking or declaring it had been long-since ready to be eaten. He could hear every breath she took and he was unsure if he could hear her heartbeat or if he was just imagining it but in this moment there was a quiet, still world that did not exist anywhere else in his life. As if his home had simply been removed from the world, it was just as it was in the car. Nothing existed outside of her and the room they shared. Ironically they were much closer when they had so much more room to spread out. Ash tried to find the words to say some appropriately pretty or meaningful or... something poignant at all only to find nothing coming to mind. Just the same, he could feel sleep overtaking him and he begrudgingly accepted it as it creeped over him and pulled him into the abyss of slumber.

Ash Meets Marie (First Revision)

FIRST REVISION, oh boy. I took a look at the scene of Marie and Ash (which has not been posted to this blog, not the original rough draft) pretty thoroughly and changed a lot, added more character to the scene, I feel. Helped to grasp why the two of them just connect.

So, here you go:

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Ash looked back to his fondest memories of her, when he had first met her. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever known. He had no idea why she actually came in to that bar (which he was pretty sure was being kept afloat by his patronage alone), she didn't belong there. It was like putting a ruby in the a puddle of sewage. So out of place that he actually forgot himself and just stared at her. She was not tall by any means, he was certain she wasn't even five feet tall and she could not have weighed more than a hundred and ten pounds and that was pushing it. She was mostly swallowed up in a freshly unbuttoned beige-colored coat of NoSoak material and her red hair was tucked down her back and under the it.

A slim, perfect-fit t-shirt covered her torso this only helped to show her chest was not devoid of endowment but she had a more than modest bust. The words upon her shirt were currently too hard to decipher with what little of his brain was not completely drinking her in. Tight jeans ran down right into a pair of beige boots, no doubt they were NoSoak as well. The coat by itself cost more than it would cost to demolish this dive and that was exactly why she boggled him. There was more to her than he could see there, but everything he saw he liked. What he did not like was the risk she took in wearing such an expensive coat in this part of Espher. She bobbed a bit on her heels and scanned the room carefully as if she were here to meet someone.

No doubt an Adonis by means of cosmetic surgery and implants but why would he want to come here? Maybe he had grown up here, in the bottom tier of what was essentially Espher's totem pole in the just-above-The-Cloud list? There was almost no way to discern her age but her brilliant green eyes showed she had been around long enough to know when to be on her guard.

So vibrant was that green that he had dismissed them as implants or augmented with some manner of expensive magic that could be had for the right price. In his head he had been peeling her clothes away and lost in the lurid, beautiful thoughts so intensely that it never registered that she was approaching him.

"It says 'Art is all we have left'." she spoke, shattering his dream-scape with harsh reality. The good thing was that reality was almost better.
His silence prompted her to respond "Saw you eyeballing me when I came in.". Her voice was just as beautiful as the rest of her.
"I-- Shit. I didn't mean to... Fuck, you know... I couldn't help..." he paused, sighing with defeat. "Yea, I admit I was staring. A little."
"Oh-ho, just a little?" She spoke, her smile exposing teeth that were a dazzling white.
"Okay so... maybe a lot. I didn't mean to offend you--"
"Hush. Stop worrying and just relax."
"I... okay." This would have to be the first time he had ever been caught ogling a woman and not been shot a disgusted or angry look. Even before his hair had changed.
"See? Is it that hard to stay calm?"
"Not when you're telling me to." he admitted, flat-out.
She laughed, he smiled involuntarily, and she shook her head. "Why are you sitting in this dirty corner by yourself?"

Why she was interested in him at all was confusing for him. He had to look like a train-wreck. "It's pretty much how I spend all my time off these days."
"Drinking in a dirty corner in a dirty bar just above The Cloud?"
"... Yea, pretty much." he conceded and looked down at his drink. It was much more depressing when said aloud.
"You must be an officer." She said with laser-accurate certainty, raising one brow just a bit.
"I... yeah.," he looked at himself to see if something gave it away but that was not the case, he wore a plain outfit that didn't stand out at all. "That obvious, huh?"
"You have body language a lot of other people don't so you are either a soldier or a an officer of the law. Either way I hear it's pretty much a hell you can't get out of."
"Just where do you hear that?"
"Places."
"Clean bars in clean parts of Espher?"
She smirked "Why haven't you just asked me to sit down already?"

The thought had never even crossed his mind, inviting her to sit down. He was sure she was just wasting time waiting on a boyfriend or fiance. Moving to clear the table (or at least wipe up what he had spilled over the evening) he pushed the empty ash-tray aside only to have her take his hand and guide it right back to the table.

She sat down with a grace he had never seen so close. In fact, this whole situation was surreal to him. She pulled a silver case from her coat pocket and thumbed the latch that held it closed. She pulled a long cigarette from the case and placed it between her immaculate lips. Her eyes flicked upward to look at him expectantly. He stated into them, this close he could tell that they were either complete biological replacements or natural.

In sudden realization he scrambled from pocket to pocket to find his lighter. After a few awkward moments he pulled the thin metal rectangle from his pocket and flicked it open, offering it to her. She leaned in just far enough to place the tip of the cigarette above the lighter. A flame sparked and burned blue, igniting the tobacco as she took her first drag of the cigarette. She exhaled to the side out of courtesy and eyed the three-quarter-full bottle on the table while he put his lighter away.

"How are you not a complete drunken mess right now?" she inquired, laughing in a way that made it impossible for him to be less than cheery.
He grinned and shrugged his shoulders "Maybe it's my form of artistry."
"Oh, I bet. The hangovers must be beautiful to watch."
"Only when I'm smart enough to cut myself off from finishing the entire thing."
"Doesn't look like you're smart tonight, Cherub."
"I'm usually not, no."
"Then you won't mind me helping you finish it?"
As if there were some possibility he could deny this woman anything but his still-beating heart-- and that was just because he was pretty sure blood wouldn't suit her. "Oh ye-yeah, go ahead, it's already paid for."

She reached toward the wall and plucked a glass from a stack recessed in the wall and took the bottle to pour her drink. "Oh, good, that means I don't have to pay anything, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of asking."
She grinned broadly and delicately tapped her finger on her cigarette, sending ashes into the glass tray. "I think you're setting a record, here."
"A record for what?"
"For how long it has ever taken a man to ask me my name."
He had been so caught up in the moment he hadn't even thought of it. "I... err, sorry, what is your name?"
"Marie."
"It's really nice to meet you, Marie."
Marie shook her head and then made an unfurling flourish with her hand just before her chin as she instructed him "'And my name is...'"
"Ash." he said
“Oh, is that short for something?”
“,,, Ashley.”
"Oooh! I bet you got a lot of shit for that in school!" she said, her excitement infectious.
"You have no idea how many times I asked my parents -why- they chose that name. They didn't even bother with a middle name."
She laughed, it was so easy, it seemed, to bring that laughter from her and spread its warmth around. "I like it. It's unusual. Like me. Ashley--"
"Ash, just call me Ash."
"Ash, I really am curious about something but you can't be mad when I ask, all right?"
"I ... guess." he had a feeling which question she wanted to ask.
"What's with the hair?"

He was right and he went on to tell her the truth. Ash had, a few years after puberty, inexplicably had his raven black hair go shock-white. There was no mental trauma in his life outside of dealing with being stuck at the bottom class for the middle tiers. Money was a bit tight in his home but his mother managed to save up enough to take him to a doctor of reasonable standing.

Through testing and examination they had written it off as just some extremely rare genetic fuck-up. What followed for about six years was constant color treatments that never managed to stick. They did, however. slowly manage to darken his hair to something of a deep gray with random streaks of black where some of his hair had actually been successfully treated. He was far ahead of everyone else at the irony of his name and the way his hair had turned out.

“It's like they knew.” Marie said, her smile far too warm for her to be rude.
"I... it's some kind of genetic thing, my mother nearly worked herself to death working odd jobs to get the money for the color treatments and they just didn't really work. Used to be as white as snow." Ash spoke, although it was pretty much a miracle if snow ever fell in any part of Espher, much less being pure white.
"I see... and your name..." she began.
"Yea, I got more hell out of kids for the hair than the name. It was just another place for them to pick at me."
"You could do a scalp replacement, you know. I hear they're pretty well priced now, especially since they've been having to compete with NeuTek's fiber-optic jobs." NeuTek had been transplanting scalps of fiber-optic hair that could adjust color as often as someone desired.
"Eh, everyone already knows me this way, if I change it, it'll just be weird, you know?"
"Aha. So now you're a masochist"
"I live in Espher, don't I?"

She laughed again, taking a drink and smiling at him with blinding cheer. Ashing her cigarette, she looked into his eyes deeply. There was a rush of heat in his cheeks that he hadn't felt since he was in his last relationship... and that was many years past. She crossed her legs and reached across the table, taking his hand which he had no objections to. He was still worried that he was flushed, that he were embarrassed but instead he felt like he had been talking to an angel.

She tilted her head slightly "You have questions, don't you, Cherub?"
Ash furrowed bis brow, "I... well, yeah. I have no idea why a woman so beautiful would ever bother to come to this place at all.".
"I came here, Ash, because I remember how it was when I was a child. I was very lucky to get out of there. I also miss the times when people didn't recognize me."
“Recognize you? Are you famous for something?” he was sure it was modeling of some sort.
“I was wondering if you knew, that explains something ”.
Ash frowned, immediately struck by curiosity "I... I'm sorry but I don't... really know who you are?"
"Oh, go up a dozen levels and you'll see something of mine eventually."
"What do you do?"
She simply shrugged off her jacket and pulled her tee-shirt taut to make it perfectly readable... and her chest all the more apparent. "I'm an artist."
"That's a pretty broad term."
"I do a bit of everything. Music, painting, I've written some things, and I've done a fair share of modeling--"
"I feel like an asshole for not knowing who you are-- wait, I know! I've definitely seen you modeling something... I can't remember but... it was an advertisement...” Ash muttered to himself
"Well, I did do an advertisement for Genetic Cosmetics. When I create my art. I go by Anna. I came in here because something told me to do it and it led me to you. There is something about you that just pulls me in and I can't place my finger on it."
"My winning personality?"
She laughed and gripped his hand tightly. "No, but I can see you as a person. Who you are, I know you're a good person and I see that less and less as days go by.”
Ash wondered, immediately, if she were on the run from someone, if perhaps her last work had been too far over the line and had provoked some sort of threat “I don't know what to say.”
"You don't need to say anything, I know how you're feeliing."
“If that is the case then you've got a really good poker-face going on.” he spoke, self loathing perhaps a bit exposed within his own words.

They continued to drink, she smoked a few more cigarettes and conversation had shot all around various topics but every time he was left feeling a bit better about himself. Ash has began to think she were some sort of roaring, inviting flame in the middle of a very cold world.  Something he would be hate to be without. The fact she was so beautiful was secondary.

She laughed almost every time she spoke, she was so enthusiastic that it was strange. She seemed to just love the moment, to be having a great time just... talking. He had not, before his ex-fiancee had cheated on him, felt so happy in quite a long time. It felt so good to be able to escape the world and curl up next to this source of warmth. It had, however, been four or five hours and last call had been announced.

“Would you like to come to my place? Talk some more?” Ash asked, no idea where his sudden confidence had been born.
“I think that would be all right but you sure aren't going to drive.” Marie said, concern in her voice.
Ash laughed “No, no... I call for a cab. I know the driver for this area better than I knew my cousins.”
“Just ride with me.” she said simply.
“That sounds nice.”
“Come with me, I'm parked over here,” she indicated, pointing “It's the red one.”
Ash looked at the car and widened his eyes a few moments. “You drive a Nexus W-X?”
“Yea, I love it, it's like my baby.”
“Classy car... damn. I was never able to ride in one but we sure as hell gave their drivers a lot of tickets. I always loved this damn car. The design just works for me. Price? Not so much.”
She grinned and keyed small device in her hand, the doors opening slowly. “The prices dropped -a lot- when the W-X-Squared was released.”
“How much?”
“Enough for me to afford it, I forget the price but it was about half of the value it was when they were fresh off of the assembly line.”
“The W-X-Squared looked so stupid. The way they changed the front end. It just looked wrong.”
Moving to slip into the driver's seat, Marie turned her head to Ash as he carefully got in. “We have a similar kind of taste.”
“I guess we do.”

The Nexus automobile company was almost always creating the newest, hottest cars that all the rich people could afford. Their ads made no attempt to appeal to less wealthy individuals and they didn't even bother advertising beneath the cloud. Several years previous the Nexus W-X has been the top of the line, it had been the thing of dreams for several people and they had reduced production upon it due to a financial scandal that had blown up during the time. If there were any sharp angles on the car then one would be hard pressed to find them. It was all curves, even the windows and it seemed as if it had been carved from a solid block of metal, it had no seams aside from the doors, hood, and trunk. Even then those has been almost invisible on the machine.  It was definitely one of his favorite cars.

Marie slipped the ID-stick into the ignition port and it confirmed her thumb-print before it brought the car to life.  “You're off duty, right?”
Ash was so absorbed in looking over the car that he took a moment to answer. “Yea, they, well they don't like us doing anything remotely fun in uniform.”
“Good. Now, if you'll put on your seat-belt, I'll show you a few reasons why I love this car.” Marie said with impish delight.

Ash did as he was told, grinning, and buckled in. The car had come to life but it was impossible to feel, it retracted its landing struts and glided out of the parking slot and headed for the skyway. Ash couldn't even feel the turns she made but dampening devices helped a lot with that. As did the alcohol. What would follow would be more traffic violations than he could count (or remember) but it was one of the most exciting nights of his entire life, escaping notice of police forces because he knew their patrol patterns and happily passed along that knowledge.

Riding shotgun in this beautiful car with this beautiful woman and worrying about exactly nothing at all, Ash was free. He was able to shed all the burdens on his shoulders and exist, for that time, purely to enjoy life. No concerns that existed outside the two of them in that car. It was amazing and it was the first time in his he had ever felt this way.
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